Saturday, January 22, 2005

Peggy Noonan Ain't Gettin' Any

... and I want to help.

OK. So I don't know that for a fact, but I get that impression from reading her latest column.

Don't get me wrong. I believe in a big tent (well, not too big or else we'll have our own lil screamin' Howie Deanies). My beef is not so much with what she wrote as with when she wrote it and while I can understand the timing, I don't like it.

She got the most attention doing it that way, but it cost her a little with the Monk.

And I ask myself why Peggy Noonan, of all people, did it.

I think she needs to get out more. Maybe a little R&R. And I know just the place for her to visit.

Mobile is a laid-back, smalltown city with a rich Catholic history that Peggy would find interesting. Between now and April, the Exploreum is presenting the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibit, so that would be a plus.

I'd take her down to Bayou La Batre to watch the shrimp boats, maybe go out shrimping with one of the local families.

Then on to Dauphin Island to explore Fort Gaines and take a ferry ride over to its sister, Fort Morgan. Then to the white sand beaches of Gulf Shores to wade in the warm, emerald waters of the Gulf of Mexico.

Then up the road to Weeks Bay (home of that liberal, Jimmy Buffett) for dinner at Lulu's (sister of that liberal). Maybe some of Lulu's homemade gumbo or, to be really cheesy, Lulu's "Cheeseburger In Paradise".

Then over to Fairhope to sip mint juleps on the pier and watch the pelicans roost as the sun sets over Mobile Bay. She might be surprised to see such locals as Fannie Flagg, W.E.B. Griffin, and Winston Groom doing the same.

If she came in the summer, she might even get to witness a Jubilee. Who knows, maybe she'd get lucky. I guarantee ya she'd write about it if she did .. witness a Jubilee, that is.

Nah, summer is too far away. She needs some R&R right now.

It would get her away from all that winter weather and big city stuff.

There would be plenty of time for her to 'splain herself, but more importantly it would give her the opportunity to re-charge her batteries and get in touch with the common man.

I hereby volunteer to be that man.

She needs to pack accordingly.

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